Addicted To
by queen dramione
Summary: I'm Hermione Granger, 24 years old and now I have no home, no job and no friends. I can't deal with the fact that i'm the reason he's missing. Slowly taking everything in, my walls started to crash down on me and I crumpled to the floor in a heap. I let out another sob and that was it. I'm officially done.


**Hi guys! So this is my first fan fiction for now so go a bit easy on me. **

**I need a beta so anyone who would like to beta my story, please message or PM me. **

**A song you could listen to with this chapter is Never Say Never by The Fray.**

**DISCLAMER: ****roses are red, violets are blue, and I don't own so please don't sue. **

**And now without any further ado…**

"You are kidding right?" Ron looked me right in the eye and asked. He was heartbroken, anyone could see that. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. Looking into his eyes broke my heart too. Harry was quiet but the anger was evident on his face. I just told them it was my fault and I didn't know what to do. I'm probably going to jail.

I took a deep breath and attempted to explain.

"It wasn't like that. I- I can explain," I started. Ron and Harry just got up and walked out in reply. I drew my hand to my mouth and let out what sounded like a muffled sob. Ginny would find out soon and I knew that wouldn't be good news. I'm 24 years old and now I have no home, no job and no friends.

Slowly taking everything in, my walls started to crash down on me and I crumpled to the floor in a heap. I let out another sob and that was it. I'm officially done.

**_FLASHBACK_**

_I need to tell them. I can't keep this from them, I just can't. While wiping the tears that were threatening to fall I picked up the quill and started to write on the parchment. _

_Harry, _

_ I'm back from New Zealand. I need to talk to you, now. If you and Ron could come over now it would be great._

_Hermione x _

_I put the quill down and attached the note to my owl, Hera. After the war, Crookshanks was great but Harry and Ron decided I needed an owl. Hera flew out the window and went to deliver the note. I still had my old flat from before I moved so they would meet me here._

_It's been seven years since the war ended and for the last three years, I kept this secret. This secret has been clawing at me from the inside and it's killing me. For the last three years, I moved to New Zealand because I needed a break. I needed a break from my friends, a break from my job, and a break from life. New Zealand was the worst decision I had ever made. _

_I had lied to Harry and Ron, and even Ginny. I was the reason he was missing and I couldn't live with it. As if on cue, an excited and tired looking Harry Potter appeared from the Floo. A couple moments later, Ron appeared as well. _

"_Hermione," they whispered almost in unison. I just started at them not being able to hold back the tears that pushed through. _

_Over the three years, we owled each other but I always lied. Just last year after an incident, we exchanged no more owls. I no longer had any connection with my friends in England. _

_Putting it all to the side, I rushed into the arms of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. It was probably going to be the last. _

"_So Hermione, how are you? I've missed you so much." Ron said._

_I bit my lip like I always did when I was in deep thought. _

_Judging by the look on my face, Harry spoke up. "Mione', what's wrong? You look troubled." _

"_It's about James," I began. James Sirius Potter is Harry and Ginny's first son and my only Godson. _

_Harry's eyes went wide. I could see a million questions forming in his head. Before he said anything I jumped in. _

"_No, I didn't find him," I sniffled, "it's much the opposite actually." Ron looked at me and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion._

"_What do you mean?" he said in a tone I couldn't quite understand. _

"_I-It's my fault," I wiped the tears off my cheeks. It's because of my own selfish reasons he's missing. _

_They both looked at me and nodded which I took as permission to continue. _

"_It happened last year. Well, when I was in New Zealand, one night, he just appeared in my flat at night. I didn't know how he got in. James was only 3 years old last year, there's no way he apparted so I guessed he used the Floo. I was going to return him to you at that very moment, but I don't know why, I just couldn't. He fell asleep and I just let him. The very next day, you owled me saying he disappeared and I owled you back but I didn't tell you he was with me." I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, still looking at the floor, "that day, I took him out to the park because he wanted to play. I sat literally 5 feet away from where he was playing. I looked away for 10 seconds and he was gone Harry!" I sobbed. "I swear to you, I was going to owl you that day telling you James was at my flat but then he disappeared. Then I didn't know what to do! Please guys, you have to believe me!" the tears just kept pouring out. _

_There was complete absolute silence. Harry was taking it in while Ron just looked absolutely livid. _

"_Are you bloody insane!" Ron exclaimed. Harry brought up a hand as if to silence him. _

_Harry looked at me and clenched his jaw. _

"_DAMN IT HERMIONE! BLOODY HELL!" he screamed. I jumped a bit at his tone._

_And that's when it began…_

**Hey so tell me how the chapter was! **

**Just saying reviews make me work super-fast. **

**Also, please I need a beta. **

**And for those who don't like the sad mood, it'll get better! **

**I pinky promise.**

**Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!**


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